Book Review : The 5 love Languages of Children by Gary Champman& Ross Campbell

 Since I became a mother of a healthy, beautiful and smart little girl, I am most concerned about her education, how to have a connection with her, communicate and get along with her.
I never wanted to be a perfect and ideal mother, somewhere in my soul, I felt and knew that there are no perfect and ideal mothers. But I wanted us to understand each other and have good communication.
At first I thought it would be easy for me and I would be able to handle the upbringing and education of my daughter, but it was not so. At first I had difficulties understanding her behavior.
I realized that it was best to look for specialized books on psychology and child education, to further ease my responsibilities as a mother. While I was looking for books in the field, I came across a book that I found really useful and helpful in understanding what a child needs and the parent-child relationship.
The book that I want to recommend is "The Five Love Languages ​​of Children," by authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. The book presents the five love languages ​​for children, identified by authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. The authors explain each of the five languages ​​(physical warmth, quality time, gifts and compliments, services) and how children perceive love from their parents depending on the main language. The book offers suggestions for parents on communicating love to their children.
This means visualizing love as a container that if full means that there is mutual love between parents and children, and the latter are balanced, happy and develop resilience, so important to get through difficulties at school and then throughout life. If the container is not full, then children will have anger problems, immaturity, insecurity and lack of balance.
Love can manifest itself in many ways, and the authors above have proposed 5 love languages. How can you identify which love language your child "speaks" and how can you learn to use it in your relationship with him? Here are their descriptions and recommendations for each type of language.
Touch. This is a basic human need, it is part of the natural instinct, it provides emotional security and is the easiest to offer. Interaction with your child, you can use touch to show your love like this:

• sit next to the child in the chair

• hold on to tomorrow

• dance

• hug each other

• tick each other

• kiss each other on the forehead or cheeks.

A child with this language: enjoys being held often, happily receives and shares kisses and hugs, likes to be physically active, and enjoys being naughty.
Words are a very powerful way to communicate love, affection, praise, encouragement, and guidance. Children who receive such words from their parents develop a sense of value and security within the family. However, it is important to take into account: the tone of voice, volume, body language, and verbal fluency. You can tell your child words that confirm your affection and appreciation by:

• using cards or papers on which to write messages;

• keeping objects made by your child

• using words of affection;

• telling them the reasons why you are proud of them;

• calling or texting them on the phone to tell them how much they mean to you by complimenting them.

A child with this love language will frequently ask for your opinion about their achievements, appearance, or choices, will visibly enjoy receiving compliments and praise, and will give lots of compliments in return.
Also, signs of this type of love language can include smiling, verbalizing feelings, verbal approval, or strong reactions to criticism and harsh words.
Quality time refers to giving your attention and time. Quality time indirectly sends the message to your child that "You are important and I enjoy spending time with you." Quality time involves not only feelings of love, but also memories built by each other. How can you spend qua lity time with your child?

• Tell a story;

• Laugh together;

• Sing;

• Share your feelings and thoughts;

• Create something together

• Do activities together;

• Create family traditions.

The child who uses this language: frequently seeks your attention and company, asks you to play with him, sits next to you and observes you when you are busy or asks you to stay in the room with him when he is playing.
Services and favors. This language will also help you model in your child love for others and the motivation to help those around him. You can do this by showing him through different activities what hospitality means, repairing his toys without asking for anything in return, cooking his favorite food, getting involved in charity, etc.
 The child who prefers this language: asks for and offers help when needed, is happy when he is  helped or when working with you on a project.
Another important language for our child is Gifts, they are important for what they have and not necessarily for their content, size or cost. Gifts are recommended when they are used to compensate for the guilt of the parent or the reduced time spent with the child. When giving gifts to the child, you can opt for a kit to build something, an object with a certain meaning, an object that is related to the child's concern and interests or gifts that can be used for a longer time.
The child with this love language enjoys a lot when receiving gifts, if they are not valuable materials, they in turn offer objects to people they appreciate, they are extremely happy when they discover Christmas or birthday gifts.

                         

                                        Written by Bogus Elena