In Islam, marriage is preceded by an engagement. It is not a specific age when young people can get married, when they are ready to do so, then They ask their mothers to look for a suitable candidacy to get married, it is his / her desire to get married, it is the parents' duty, more exactly of the mother, to find a suitable bride / groom.
The searches take place first within the family and then outside it. There are still cases in Oman, even today, most Arabs are married to 2nd or 3rd degree relatives, which is not a good thing if we think about the genetic problems that can cause future children.
Unfortunately they don't have children, because of this or who knows?! But there are exceptions, but most young people marry out of love and respect for each other.
After finding a suitor, the young people's mothers agree and then announce their husbands in the family. Both sides are interested in each other. It is checked very thoroughly, if they are from a good family, if there are no problems with drinking alcohol or domestic violence.
If both parties agree, the engagement ca be made public, arrangements for marriage can be made by establishing the dowry, the wedding day, the ceremony, etc.
I was lucky to watch the whole procession, weddings took place in our family and one of them was my wedding. First of all, what two met in the family to know each other, whether they like each other or not. If the boy likes the girl then he accepts, but the girl also has a say, here not only the boy decides, but also the girl decides. If both sides agree with this alliance then it has the next step, the meeting of the two families which is important in an Arab Muslim family. And the girl has the right to choose her husband to marry. If she doesn't like him then she refuses to marry him. Since I have been in Oman, I have encountered many cases when the bride refused or did not like the groom and vice versa.
The engagement consists in the marriage proposal of a certain woman, the request made by the man, and in presenting his own situation to the woman and her family, as well as in the negotiation of the marriage contract.
After the parties agree on all the conditions, the two, the fiance and the fiancee, can see each other, to get to know each other better.
But the two will not be left alone at this stage so as not to create unpleasant situations.
For that contract to be valid, there must be no obstacles to marriage, that the two young people must agree, that their legal formalities must be fulfilled and the dowry(mahar) must be established.
There are also cases when there are obstacles in marriage, but this happens very rarely, because both parties will avoid this happening.
I will list only two types of obstacles:
The first obstacle is permanent: blood or alliance, collation or consumption during the continence period. And the second temporary: mixed religion, polygamy, kinship between the wives of the same husband, the period of continence or triple
repudiation.
Marriage between cousins being possible. For both the fiance and the fiancee, there is the possibility to break the engagement.
Thus, if this happens, it is the young woman's duty to return to the family the gifts she received from her.
But simultaneous marriage with two blood relatives is not allowed through a "milk" alliance.
Engagement party
The engagement is taken care of by the fiancée's family, they understand where to do it. I do it at the house of my fiancée or I rent a place for a party. Here is the choice of the future bride. I've been to many engagements in Oman, and they all ranged from simple to extravagant. But they were all beautiful. It was simple for me and at home. The wedding gifts were taken home. But relatives of the husband were made in the premises. And very interesting and beautiful.
A woman who marries a man receives a dowry from the groom, a dowry - mahr, in Arabic which is her exclusive property. This dowry, as well as the amount in case of divorce, and other conditions negotiated with the groom or with someone from the groom. This negotiation should make the guardian (father, uncle or older brother) the bride.
The day before the groom's family comes to ask the girl to marry, the girls and women in the house prepare traditional Arabic dishes, the preparations are first, there is a lot of hustle and bustle in the girl's house.
As for the preparation, the girls' family arranges in the house or arranges itself locally at the choice of the fiancée. The style of the engagement is also the choice of the young bride. Floral arrangement, decorations, colorful lights, Arabic music for unmarried and married young girls to dance. The young fiancée spends all day at the salon to make herself beautiful. Let me say here, in Oman beauty salons have a package for young women getting married. I had something like that too. She buys a simple dress or a traditional Omani style dress of her choice.
The most important to be on the table at the engagement, the Omani coffee, with dates, water, fruit, Omani halawa, which is not missing from the house of the locals. She is at special holiday events, engagements, weddings and funerals.
Our guests are invited to the engagement at 8.00. They are served with Omani coffee, dates, water, Omani Halwawa fruit. Around 9.00 our fiancée from the salon also appears, then dinner is served for guests, appetizers, or rice with meat, of your choice and depends on everyone's budget.
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